How to make your ranch water

My best friend and I would often hang out with my older boyfriend’s friends and her older boyfriend before we were legally allowed to drink. This was mainly because they shared their terrible booze. I didn’t know much about cocktails, and we could not make a choice, so we drank a ton of Captain Morgan, Diet Coke, and Mike’s Hard Lemonade. All three drinks were gross.

I don’t understand why men in their late 20s would drink those drinks at that time. The drinks were so sticky that it was challenging to drink more than one or two, which can be frustrating when you’re trying to get drunk. The hard seltzer we know today was not “invented,” at least in its mass-produced and ubiquitous form. But I’m sure those men in their late 20s enjoyed it. And I would have loved to take it away from them.

Making hard seltzer is a great option. You can add a little alcohol to the seltzer. I also like to mix in a bit of bitter and simple syrup. Ranch water is a specific kind of hard seltzer.

Ranch water has three ingredients: Blanco Tequila, lime Juice, and Topo Chico. It’s sometimes served as a highball. But, many people will pour out or drink a few ounces of seltzer before building the drink in the bottle.

The bubbles and high ratio of seltzer to alcohol make this drink refreshing. After all, it is ranch Water, so the glass should be diluted and watery.

You can riff on ranch water. Ranch water is a seltzer drink that can be tweaked. Some people add liqueurs or salt to their ranch water, while others use honey or simple syrup.

Topo Chico is not negotiable. According to Garden & Gun, “the bubbly effervescence” of Topo Chico, the mineral water that was born in Mexico in the year 1895 and tickled your nose more than others, gives the beverage “a similar bubble-structure as Champagne.”


  • Topo Chico 12-ounce Bottle
  • 1 1/2 ounces Blanco tequila
  • 1/4 ounce of lime juice
  • Barspoon Simple Syrup (optional).

Pour or consume about two ounces (or more) of seltzer after opening the Topo Chico bottle. Add the tequila and lime juice (if you’re using it) slowly, as they will fizz. Stir lightly with a chopstick or straw and garnish with lime wedges.

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